Friday, December 09, 2005

Star Wars Episode III - The Rewrite (Part 1)

So you kind of liked Episode III, but think it could've been better? What, do you think you could do a better job than George Lucas? Well, so do I! I'll be writing my version of the movie a little bit at a time and presenting it here. Let's see how it turns out.

The following is part of a serialized, re-written version of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, presented in narrative prose.

Her face. So much pain was visible in the wrinkles, the creases, the scars caused by the horrors the Tuskens must've inflicted on her - horrors he could've stopped if he had been there. As he untied her from the post and cradled her in his arms, he searched her eyes for some form of accusation, some look that said, why weren't you there, Anakin? Why didn't you save me? But her eyes didn't accuse him. They should have. He could see only peace in her eyes as she managed a feeble smile at the sight of her only son. And that only made him feel guiltier about not being there to protect her - protect her from this. "Ani?" she spoke softly as he cradled her limp body in his arms, "It's you!"

How could you be happy to see me? he wondered. There she was, near-death, in that Tusken tent, tied to that post like some animal, looking at the only person who could've saved her, but had abandoned her long ago to join the Jedi. Why don't you hate me? But her face revealed no hate, not for him, not even for the Tusken animals that had done this to her. All he could see in her face was her love for him. But it was that love that accused him, by not accusing him, blamed him by not blaming him. Her face.

"Anakin!" Obi-wan's voice crackled loudly over the comm, bringing him back to the present, "Incoming! On your right! Move! NOW!"

He looked out the window of his cockpit to see the missle headed straight for him and coming fast. R2 screamed as Anakin quickly rotated his craft 90 degrees, managing to miss the projectile by a hair's width. As the missle rocketed past his cockpit window, he mused that if it had been going slower, he probably could've read the small identification number etched on the bottom of its shell.

"Anakin!" Obi-wan yelled, "You have to stay focused! Keep your thoughts on the mission! You could've been killed!"

"I had it under control, Master," he responded, hoping to avoid another lecture. He wasn't in the mood. And besides, he didn't feel like he had anything to prove to Obi-wan. How many times had he saved the old man's life? Anakin was more powerful and more skilled than Obi-wan would ever be, and had been for some time. He didn't see any further need of Obi-wan's "guidance" or endless scolding. It seemed to Anakin that he should be lecturing Obi-wan.

But there would be no time for lectures or scolding. As they approached the battle over Coruscant, fighters on both sides whizzed past them, firing mercilessly at each other. It was a free-for-all, a frantic swarm of ships of every size attacking each other from all sides. There was no order, no direction, just chaos. On the one side, souless droids unafraid of dying and concerned only with their mission to kill. On the other side, Republic pilots fighting desperately to save the planet below, because it was their home, or because their families lived there, or because they knew if Coruscant fell, so would the Republic and their entire way of life.

"The Invisible Hand, up ahead." Obi-wan announced.

"I see it." General Grevious' ship loomed off in the distance, gradually coming into view.
Anakin increased his speed, careening around in front of Obi-wan. Flying effortlessly inbetween zooming fighters and streams of plasma fire, he started to speed up even more.

"Easy, Anakin! This isn't a race! You're supposed to be taking my flank."

"I was afraid that if we kept at your speed, Master, the war might be over before we get there." Anakin decreased his speed slightly, not quite enough to give up his position in front of Obi-wan.

Eventually, but not soon enough for Anakin, they reached the hangar entrance of the Invisible Hand.

"Let's touch down near the entrance," Obi-wan directed, "We don't know exactly what we'll be up against once we enter the hangar."

Instead of complying, Anakin raced his fighter straight into the heart of the hangar, firing his cannons the whole way. In the end, at least 30 droid soldiers lay in pieces on the hangar floor. Anakin touched his fighter down in the middle of it all.

Obi-wan leaped out of his own fighter with his lightsaber drawn, deflecting blaster fire from the few remaining droids while at the same time cursing Anakin's recklessness. "I told you to touch down near the entrance! You have got to learn to follow orders and be more careful!" he yelled after the last droid had been destroyed.

"Were you being careful, Master? I thought you were being timid."

Obi-wan grabbed the young knight's arm. "Stop trying to compete with me."

Anakin jerked his arm free and sneared, "Master, I stopped trying to compete with you years ago - when you stopped being competition."

To be continued...

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11 Comments:

Anonymous fan said...

Ooooo...
This is getting interesting.. :)

2:38 PM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Lucas had better start getting worried...

3:33 PM  
Blogger Jaina Solo said...

Yey! I love things like this! Perhaps you could write the last three flims in the Saga!

4:12 PM  
Blogger Jabafatboy said...

I like it !! You , Just Might Have some talent there buddy : )

Did ya call lucas and tell him ?

While yer at it tell him we got a female Darth Vader !

Hehehehehehehe

9:36 PM  
Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Whoaaaa! I'm dying for more. Please odnt keep us waiting to long!

11:17 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Great start. I'm all a twitter waiting for more!

4:46 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Oh yeah, I'm liking this version a lot!

7:21 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Damn that last line gave me shivers!! Wonderful! Listen, we would love your story on this site if you'd consider it:

http://alternateanakin.hyperboards.com/

Its dedicated to re-writes of episode 3 mainly, but takes Anakin along many different paths at different points in the saga. Hope to see you there!

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Padawan Patty said...

Um, Excuse me. We are not supposed to use swear words here.

Instead we can use words like: swell, groovy, wow, great, cool, hot, super, or even magnifico. I personally like to use the word "well huh".

4:42 PM  
Blogger Nic said...

More, more, more! I can't wait for the continuation. :)

Glad to see you're keeping up with your blog - more or less! ;)

How's Chewie working out?

4:13 PM  
Blogger Jedi Katt said...

Anakin is still tht kind of "action before thinking"... I've already started thinking when are you gonna publish another part... 3 months already *sigh*

12:22 AM  

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